News Summary: The banning of the hip drop tackle in football has sparked controversy and raised questions about player safety. As leagues revise tackling rules, fans and players seek clarity and adaptation to the evolving landscape of the sport.
Football, it’s a game of excitement, glories untold, and wonders of the mind and spirit. However, there’s controversy surrounding it; many fans and players are unsure of what constitutes a legal tackle in this fine league. The hip drop tackle is being banned because of injury concerns, and many in the football world ask, what is the proper way to tackle?
Like the beloved body weight and rule, there are a lot of questions as to the step-by-step protocol, and today they will be answered. Consider this man to be the average offensive player.
Hey there, look at how confident he is.’ ‘And here’s your bug standard defender, sir, notice his surly and hostile demeanor.’ ‘Am I getting paid for this?’
Now, the normal situation would be for the defendant to destroy everything dear to the world, but this isn’t 1970 anymore; we are a kinder and gentler league.
To begin the new process of tackling, the offensive player must first consent. ‘Can I tackle you?’ ‘Uh, uh-uh, you never said the magic word.’ ‘Can I please have permission to take you to the ground?’
No, I do not consent to your action.’ ‘This is what constitutes a broken tackle.’ ‘This is a joke, but let’s suppose that he does agree to be stopped.
Then the defender will carry the offensive player to a minimum queen-size bed of his choosing, pending league approval.’ ‘I’ll walk myself, thank you.’ ‘Yes, your majesty, that’s 15 yards for taunting.’ ‘We have now entered the room of choice.
For speed purposes, the bed has already been set to the offensive player’s liking, but defenders should be aware of any personal whims and requests that they prefer.’
Oh, is there any chance I can get some ice cream? I prefer cookie dough.’ ‘I don’t have any.’ ‘We’ll let the defender off with a $110,000 fine.’ ‘Always remember, you’re [ __ ].’ ‘Is this an anagram?’ ‘No, it just means you’re [ __ ].’
Begin the next step of the process, happy ending.’ ‘What happy ending?’ ‘Well, G-crack.’ ‘What, no, that’s unsportsmanlike conduct.’ ‘We will assume that the action has taken place.’ ‘Now, as we can see, our two test patients are ready for the final stage of taking down a player.
You must gently let him slip into slumber.’ ‘May I recommend a bedtime story?’ ‘Alright, “The quarterback who won it all”.’ ‘Oh, I love this one.’ ‘And in a triumph for eternity, the greatest quarterback in football history threw for over 400 yards and three touchdowns in the high school championship game.
The crowd on hand lifted him on their shoulders, chanting his name forevermore throughout the end of time. He had white horses and ladies by the score, all dressed in satin, waiting by the door. Oh, what a lucky man he was.
Good night, offensive player.’ (As the offensive player sleeps in his comfy bed, the loss of down is complete.) ‘There’s one problem with the defender’s execution, he never fully shut the door.’ ‘Roughing the passer.’
Oh God, thank you for watching this horrible pile of cringe. I wanted to do something different because this is a special occasion. This is apparently my thousandth video.
Yeah, I can’t believe it either, like a birthday cake or something. I wish to never do this again, dead for the sake of society.
